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Confidence 5Are you lacking confidence in interviews, social situations or in relationships? Have you lost your confidence and wish you could regain it? Would you like more confidence to take action towards living a healthier and happier life?

Confidence is a positive emotion, which reflects our level of self-belief. The greater your belief in yourself, the greater your level of self-esteem and confidence. With confidence we feel more comfortable to go to interviews and meetings, give presentations, meet new people, go on dates, speak our mind and take action to be healthier and happier in life.

A Common Confidence Saboteur

Most people have had confidence at one time or another in their life. For example, you may have felt very confident when you succeeded at work, a hobby, playing sport or achieving a goal. Or you may have felt confident during a period of time in your life when things were going really well for you.

Sometimes, we can lose our confidence. Common types of events that can sabotage our confidence include:

  • missing out on promotions or interviews, retrenchment, poor performance reviews
  • divorce, separation, relationship break-up or conflict with family and/or friends
  • being overweight, poor body image, physical/emotional/mental health challenges.

After working with thousands of clients and through my research, I have discovered that there are over 35 different ways that we can sabotage our confidence and success in life.  Amongst those is a very common one – worry or anxiety about the future. The future can be uncertain for some people hence they worry or stress about what could happen.

One definition of worry is thinking about what could go wrong. Research has shown that your thoughts (either positive or negative) become self-fulfilling through your behaviour. When you think about what could go wrong in an interview, a presentation, with money, at a family gathering, your health, or any other situation, it can lead to stress or worry. In turn, this can negatively affect your confidence, motivation to take action and your level of success.

Stop Worrying and Quickly Boost Your Confidence

Here is a powerful technique to help you to stop worrying and to boost your confidence:

1. Think about an upcoming event that you are unsure or worried about e.g. a presentation, an interview, a date, going to the gym, etc.

2. Be clear about what you would like to achieve at that event e.g. feel confident getting to know the other person on the date.

3. Imagine a movie screen in front of you and see yourself in the movie like an actor/actress in that upcoming event.

4.  As you watch the movie, see that event turn out exactly as you would like it to be, hear the conversations you would like to hear and feel exactly how you would like to feel.

5.  Notice how you now feel more confident about that event as you think about it being successful, and now look forward to Highly successful professionals and athletes use this technique to visualise a successful meeting or game.  Research shows those athletes who visualise rehearsing and having a successful game do as well on game day as athletes who have physically rehearsed and practiced prior to the game!

Imagine how much better you feel when you think about what you want and how you stop worrying. Notice the difference that this then makes to your confidence and success!


Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author (of the Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence), speaker, media commentator, and the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with award-winning company, Qt.  She holds a PhD, a BEc and is passionate about helping professionals and individuals to their improve confidence, emotional and mental wellbeing and success. For more free resources please visit