It's only fair to share…

Are you worried, anxious or stressed about your relationship, family, career or health? Does fear hold you back from doing what you really want in life?  Is the thought of what may happen in the future keeping you up at night?

Let’s Get Clear About the Fear

Before you can effectively address the fear, first you need to acknowledge the type of fear it is – is it a past fear, a fear of, or anxiety.  Here are some guidelines to assist you:

Past fear

Fear is an emotion.  Anytime we feel fear that is in proportion to the situation we are faced with, the emotion is appropriate for us.  For example, the fight or flight response kicks in when we are facing real or perceived danger.  Appropriate emotion of fear often follows.

However, anytime we feel out of proportion fear it is a sign that the fear from the past is unresolved for us.  If you find yourself overreacting to your situation with fear or you are being held back from taking action because you are scared, you may have past fear to address.

Fear of…

In addition to past fears, some people have a fear of specific things or situations.  Common “fear of” examples people have include:

*fear of success

*fear of failure

*fear of being judged

*fear of not being good enough

*fear of rejection

*fear of loss

*fear of making the wrong decision.

These “fear of” are actually limiting beliefs rather than emotions, and can also hold you back from having what you desire in life.


Anxiety is worrying about what could go wrong or focusing on what could go wrong, rather than thinking about the event being a success.  Performance anxiety occurs when we think about a meeting, call, speech, our performance, etc. turning out anything other than a success.  Often we have negative what if scenarios in our mind.

While the above types of fears all relate to past fears of one type or another, anxiety relates to future fear or worry.  Worrying about your health, relationship, family, your job security or whether or not you will get a promotion are all examples of anxieties. It is much easier to let go of severe anxiety once the past fears have been addressed first.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Importantly, all fears become self-fulfilling. The more you focus on what could go wrong, the more your brain attracts it through your behaviours. For example:

*Fear of loss can lead to overspending and therefore losing money

*Fear of failure can lead to procrastination and indecision about your relationship, career, business or investments which can then result in failure

*Fear of success can lead to feelings of unworthiness of having success, and can result in people sabotaging their success

*Fear of making the wrong decision can lead to confusion and, therefore, wrong decisions being made.

Letting go of your fears and anxieties

Once we identify the specific type of fear, it is then important to let it go.  Fears, fear of and anxiety hold you back from living the life you desire.  It is important to realise the cost of these fears and how much you are missing out on as a result of these fears.  The best way to be free of the fears once and for all is to address them in a safe and comfortable way, without having to relive the fears of the past in order to let them go.