Did you set yourself some New Year’s Resolutions or goals this year? How are you doing? Did you get started? How many have you set before and given up on? What did you do when you got pulled off course or they didn’t work out?

I bet at some level you berated yourself for failing, giving up or perhaps not even getting started?

Well, I guarantee this strategy won’t work, and I am not the only one who is saying this!

Berating ourselves and being unkind is on the rise. In a UK study done earlier this year, it was found that the average woman put herself down at least eight times each day. And that is only the people they asked.

The most common topics prevalent were criticisms about appearance and weight. Being negative about ones earnings, creativity and organisational skills as well as deflecting compliments also made the list. One in seven women criticised themselves frequently, and more concerning was that many women weren’t even aware they were thinking such damaging thoughts. (Men do too, but not as much as women). Being hard on ourselves only creates more of the same, and is a sure way to extinguish the flame of goals and desires.

The article also revealed how social media has helped drive a widespread increase in self-judgment. Its too easy to see the glory rather than the story, the end success, the triumphant moment, but never the story behind the glory; the hard slog, consistency, determination and commitment to act in spite of. The sacrifices made along the way. Often overlooked in the world of Social Media where quick posts, short attentions and pictures prevail. Is it any wonder people find the reality of achieving their goals and sticking to their New Year’s Resolutions too hard?

My tip for this year, which I guarantee will help you achieve more, is to pledge to be kinder to yourself, (which also includes forgiving yourself for not being perfect!)

Yes, it might sound simple to learn but I it’s a lot harder to do.

There are numerous reasons for this, a few of which I have covered in a previous article here.

Here are my quick seven tips to help you do this:-

  1. Acknowledge your successes every day; the big and especially the small successes.
  2. Write them down in your diary or a success journal so you can read them each week and build on these successes, (just like compound interest.)
  3. Monitor your self-talk and when you berate yourself, say ‘stop.’
  4. Create your own statement to replace your negative talk. Something like ‘every day I am becoming kinder to myself.’ Use this consistently and you create a new program, and start to believe it. Watch your whole outlook, become more positive and optimistic.
  5. Treat yourself as you would your best friend.
  6. Forgive yourself if you fail, forget to do something or run out of time to complete a task.
  7. Start each new day as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. Just for today!

I guarantee this will lay the best foundation for this year and the years to come! Your future self will certainly thank you for this.