“I Don’t Feel Like It“
In my book “The Reflex – Activate Thoughts, Words and Actions to Achieve Your Goals” the chapter titled “I Don’t Feel Like It” addresses one of the two most powerful reasons we fail at our goals and resolutions – including weight loss.
The truth is, many of us don’t care about exercise or weight loss. What we really want are the BENEFITS of weight loss, the social currency it can afford us.
If being honest, most of us invest in our bodies for the look, “the show,” to gain approval, to fit into both society’s consumer driven version of how we should look and literally fit into the clothes that carry the right social currency within our zip code and peer groups.
Sure, our educated minds say we should do it for health, fitness, longevity and quality of life, but that is not aligned with how many of us feel. So, people’s diet goals go unfulfilled because they really do not care enough about the benefits to invest in doing what is necessary to achieve them. It lives and dies in the mind as something that “should be done,” but won’t be achieved until it is mixed with how we actually feel. Many people would also like the benefits of owning their own business or being rich, but most are not willing to take the daily actionable steps required to achieve those benefits.
Unless you have a metabolic, physical, or hormonal disorder, or take certain prescription medication, you lose weight because you want to lose weight – enough. Conversely, if you cannot lose weight and maintain it, you simply Don’t Feel Like it – enough. Philosopher, psychologist and physician William James stated, it’s hard to imagine someone in a fit of rage that is not also prone to vigorous action. Essentially, the motion goes with the emotion, and we are motivated to do what we Feel Like doing.
That’s right, I just said if you cannot lose weight, and keep a personally acceptable amount off long term, then you don’t really want to achieve your weight loss goals bad enough. More specifically, you are not emotionally invested enough to feel sufficiently motivated. Sure, you say you want the end result, the benefits, but not bad enough to put in the required effort. If you are mostly benefits driven, it is hard to genuinely feel there is much value in the process or even the goal itself. It is this disconnect between the mind and heart that makes dieting efforts “half-hearted.” When your “hearts not in it,” you can only rely on short term willpower, which rarely has the ability to maintain lifestyle changes.
Without the external influence and pressures of society, many people would feel just fine being 5-25lbs overweight. This is a vital factor, as it means many people are not internally driven to lose weight/diet, but do so for external reasons that are not organically their own, which is why so many people fail. So, the people who are successful with their diets simply feel like the benefits are worth continuing their weight loss efforts until they succeed. This dynamic is consistent in all areas of our lives.
Whether or not you Feel Like going to work, you do so because you Feel Like receiving the benefits it provides for you and the people you care about, who you Feel responsible and obligated to. I don’t feel like driving my daughter to and from her friend’s house, spending 6 hours at gymnastics and track meets, violin recitals, etc, but I love her, and her happiness and social development are important to me, which enables me to feel like doing these things for her.
Whether talking weight loss, relationships, occupation, academic or physical development, motivation to succeed happens when we align what we feel in our heart, with what we think in our mind. Remember, “Emotion Creates Motion.” That’s the secret to achieving personally meaningful goals.
Chris Weiler is a published author, speaker, consultant, strength trainer and performance expert to athletes, Fortune 500’s and YOU!