It's only fair to share…

My first marriage reached its expiration date and promptly came to an end. A few years later I remarried. Changing husbands does not negate frustration, in fact it can seem much more apparent sooner. You could certainly keep going through husbands until you find the least frustrating one. Though the return policy is not as friendly as exchanging a mismatched pair of shoes.

When I finally realized that some of the frustration I had was similar in both marriages, even though the men were very different. I began to wonder, could my frustration be stemming from something else altogether? BINGO!

It was time to take a deeper look at why situations were frustrating me. This process does take a little soul-searching and recognizing our shortcomings. Now I am not letting your husband or mine off the hook for being a jerk, it is those common themed frustrations that are usually related to you and not him.

If there was a personality trait that you adored when you first met and now it is annoying you, it could very well be that you need to work on having a bit more of that trait in your life.

For the next few weeks use these tips to do a little soul-searching. You might just need to allow yourself a little freedom to clear the annoyances that you have struggled with.

  • When you get upset about a situation related to your spouse or even a coworker, write it in a journal.
  • Check your journal every so often to see if there is a reoccurring theme.
  • Exam those reoccurring issues to see if this is an area of your life that you are deficient in and come up with a plan to get a little more of whatever it is. (free time, being more outgoing, friend time, being more open, less stressing about daily responsibilities, etc.)

Internal work is rewarding and liberating not to mention relieving some relationship stress. Make sure to congratulate yourself for taking a step to free your self and give yourself space to grow. You go girl!


Nanette Achziger – is a wellbeing advocate, culinary explorer and author. Nanette is passionate about sharing how easy it is to achieve a general sense of health and wellbeing. Through tips and tools in her blog and her book, Kaizen, she shares ways to create your own self-care rituals, reduce toxic exposure, and nurture our selves through food, connection and self-love.