It's only fair to share…

Do you let your partner, family, friends and work colleagues walk all over you?  Are other people taking advantage of your kind giving nature?  Is it time you stopped bending over backwards to please others?  Tired of being a doormat?

How Important Are You?

Think about how important you are in your life:


  • Do you put yourself first or do you put others’ needs before your own?
  • Do you feel guilty if you do something for yourself?
  • Would you move heaven and earth to help others, yet you neglect yourself?
  • When was the last time you did something nice for yourself?
  • Are you constantly giving to your partner, family and friends, yet rarely receive in return?
  • Do you feel resentful or unappreciated for how your partner, family, friends and work colleagues treat you?
  • Do you love yourself or are you constantly putting yourself down and judging yourself?

How important you are in your life is a reflection of your values, beliefs and other deeper subconscious drivers.

The Past is The Past 

Most of our past fears, self doubts, limiting beliefs and other deeper subconscious drivers are formed in the early years of our life.

Our interpretation of our environment in the first 21 years of our life (parents, siblings, relatives, school, friends, role models, partners, TV, internet, etc.) defines our personality later in life.  This then influences our coping mechanism for dealing with life’s challenges.

For example, some people model their parents and if they see one parent as being a doormat when they are growing up, may on a subconscious level copy the same pattern later in their relationships.

While the past can influence our actions now, the past is the past and can be changed.  It is empowering to learn from the past and then to let it go.  That is how we can set ourselves free to be who we want to be, and have our partner, family, friends and work colleagues treat us how we wish to be treated.

Take a Stand for Yourself 

Stop being a doormat and start turning this dynamic around by taking a stand for yourself right now.  Make a congruent decision that from now on you will make yourself a priority.  Think about one thing you could do today to demonstrate to yourself that you are a priority in your life.  It could be something small e.g. make time for a hobby, a bath, reading a book, etc.  Then do it!

Once you take these baby steps, then aim higher. For example, could you make time to do something that you have meaning to do for a while, and that you have talked about and never actioned?  Could you show others your commitment to yourself by following through on what you say you will do for yourself?  Could you set some goals for yourself so that they motivate you to take action towards them, and you enjoy the success of achieving them?

This in turn will show your partner, family, friends and work colleagues that you make yourself a priority, which will help them to see you in a different light and to treat you differently.

Imagine how empowered you will feel doing something you really want to do for yourself, and making yourself a priority.

Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author (of the Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence), speaker, media commentator, and the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with multi award-winning company, Qt.  She holds a PhD, a BEc and is passionate about helping professionals and individuals to improve their confidence, emotional and mental wellbeing and success.  For more free resources please visit

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