Not having the right mindset can definitely affect any of your relationships in a not so positive way, including the one with yourself. If you have limiting beliefs of why would anybody love me, or when they get to know me, they won’t like me and leave…you will become needy and a taker. Eventually, you will be right, and that other person will not want to stay with you and will want to leave.
It’s not that you would mean to be that way, but if you are not filling yourself up with all the goodies, as I call them…you won’t be able to give and share, as you will continually feel empty. Healthy relationships are a place that we go to give and share, and unfortunately your relationship will definitely not be.
When we fill ourselves up with love, honor, trust, respect, joy, happiness, self esteem and a Biggie, forgiveness and then give and share of ourselves with others…we have a much greater chance of the relationship working. Two of the biggest fears of human beings is that we are not good enough and that we won’t be loved. By stacking reasons why you are more than enough and why someone would love you helps when that little voice of self doubt tries to take over. You will have so many positive things stacked that will outweigh the negative. Eventually, you won’t be able to hear that little voice anymore. Your mindset is now in a much more positive place and you won’t be having doubts that you are not good enough.
Tips On Having The Right Mindset:
The next time someone does or says something that upsets you or you are not sure where they are coming from, do not assume that it is automatically about you. Most of the time it is not about you, it usually is about the other person just trying to get through whatever it is that maybe going on in their life. Instead, attach 2 or 3 positive meanings to what it might be. Here’s an example, if you were in a relationship and that person was unreliable and you never knew if they would be home on time and now you are in a new relationship and they are very reliable. But one night they are late coming home from work and you start assuming that they are starting to do what that other person use to do and you start jumping all over them, that night is not going to be a very good one.
If you choose to stay in the Now and remain calm and by attaching the positive reasons what it could be, and focus on everything being wonderful…chances are it will be. What we put out comes back to us. If you continually jump to conclusions that are not true, that person sooner or later is not going to want to relate to you. Thus, the relationship is over.
Live in the Now:
By living in the Now, you are not reliving the past and you are not just focused on the future. There are people who are so stuck in the past that they are just existing, you can’t grow when you are. On the other hand, there are people who live just for the future and they have their lives all planned out. Now it is okay to take the golden nuggets from the past and use them in the present to help you grow even more so.
You may want to model your behavior in the past that got you the results that you are looking for. The rest of the past that no longer serves you should be released. As far as the future, it is a great thing to have a plan for your business or plan a trip that you have been wanting to take, etc., but don’t plan everything little detail in your life.
When you are living in the Now, everything will just fall into place how it is suppose to be. You will make decisions based on the present instead of the past or what you think might happen in the future. By living in the Now, it helps with a positive mindset because you aren’t bringing into your life, your partner did this to you thinking so they going to do it again, etc. You are living each moment with what is right in front of you. Your decisions will be better and easier to make and they will be the right choices for you for where you are in your Amazing journey called life.
Stay In The Now:
One of the best ways of staying in the Now is to meditate. It helps you to clear you mind and to be aware of where you are at this very moment. It also helps you to be centered and at your core of peace.
By writing in your journal every morning and writing out how you want your day to go, gives you not only the clarity but shifts your thinking to just that day. I suggest that my clients think of a word that they want to their day to be and make that their focus. If you want a day where you are prosperous, then you not only need to take effective action to make that happen, but you will also need to feed your subconscious prosperous thoughts and ones that are telling it that you already are.
By allowing yourself to just ‘Be’ throughout the day, it helps to stay in the Now. As entrepreneurs, we get so busy with working on the computer, with our clients, etc. that it is very easy for the day to go zooming by. By taking those five minutes to just ‘Be’ at different intervals it keeps you where you need to be.
Be grateful for where you are and for what you have in your life at this very moment. You may have a car that is old and want a new one but when you are grateful for that car, then the new one will come into you life. Something I am learning to master and it can be challenging at times, is to be grateful for the experience adversity has given to me. When you can do so, your life starts to go to that next Extraordinary level. Being grateful already puts your body, your energy and your thoughts in a great place. Thus, everything you do from that point on will be in a positive mindset.
Get very clear on what you want in your life. Write out what you want and then focus on it. Get into the feeling on how achieving or having whatever it is that you want, will make you feel. Hold onto it and when that little voice of self doubt wants to tell you otherwise, you will have a hard time hearing it. Also, I find by reading something inspirational or motivational every morning it helps me to have that positive mindset right from the start. By reading just a page or two, it can really makes a huge difference and by doing it throughout your day when you are taking a break, helps to keep you there.
When you consistently are living in the Now and mastering your mindset, you will start to have more of a balanced life in all five major components in your life: financial, relational, mental, physical, and spiritual that are all in harmony with each other. This is what I call being at your core of peace. Everything will start to flow like it is suppose to be in each of the areas of your life and you will now be living that Extraordinary Life that we all desire. I believe in you and am rooting for you!
Susan Preston is a Relationship Consultant as well as a Mindset Motivator specializing in helping you to master yourself so that you can that have Extraordinary Relationships.. With her unique philosophy, Susan helps you to discover your true magnificence and how to embrace it. She will provide you with all the necessary tools to successfully bring out the best in your relationships starting with your mindset.
Visit Susan at http://susancanhelpme.com/
Are you having relationship problems now? Or maybe you can’t move forward in another area of your life…Susan would like to help. Click on “Free Consultation” and she will gladly give a free 30 minute consultation to answer any pressing questions that you may have.