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Where do you find happiness? Is it in planning your holiday, taking a day off work, getting together with friends and family; is it shopping, a night out with friends, having a drink on a Friday night or making money? If so, then the chances are your happiness may be short lived.  Because, if lasting happiness was contained in any of the above activities, why is it that our society is plagued with increasing problems of isolation, anxiety, stress, depression and mental health issues?

A key to finding lasting happiness is to first, look in the right place! True and lasting happiness has to come from inside, not outside. It’s an internal feeling. You never experience your own happiness outside the boundaries of your body!  That is why the above activities will result in short lived bursts of happiness.

The key is to embrace the good times, to cherish and practice feeling it. To recall the good feelings often. The more you practice this, the more you can make it part of your natural inner self, of who you are.  It is also important to accept the times when you aren’t feeling so great or happy, and to be able to let them go instead of letting them shroud you in their dark veil.

The more you can master your internal state, your feelings and thoughts, the less you will be dependant on external sources to help you feel happy. You will have taken a quantum leap to create a life with more lasting happiness and a sense of inner calm.

Here are four tips to help you master your Internal State and start to create lasting happiness:

1. Be flexible. A ship has to change course to navigate round a storm, so make sure you are capable of changing your thoughts, behaviours, plans and actions if you are not getting the results you want.

2. Ask better questions. A simple key to a successful and happy life is to ask better questions. Ask yourself if there is a better way to achieve what you want. If you don’t understand what someone says, make sure you ask for further clarification.

3. Manage your emotions. Practice observing your emotions. Just like the weather, they can change.  Let the negative ones go and practice remembering times when you felt good. Imagine storing and locking these feelings inside. Practice recalling this feeling whenever you need to feel in a better state

4. Life is about choices. Your choices you make every day are directly linked to your success and happiness. Remember you always have a choice, so choose carefully. Choose ones that are linked to what you want and what is important to you in life. Choose good feelings over negative ones. Your decisions will determine your destiny, not your conditions of your life.

There you have it. Four simple tips to becoming the Master of your life, building your own foundation for your lasting happiness to take root and flourish from within.


Mandy Napier BSc is the Founder of Mindset for Success. She is an International Mindset Specialist, Performance Coach and Trainer. For the past 25 years she has extensively studied and worked in the field of leadership and human potential. Visit her website