If you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and say you are happy in your life right now, congratulations, you are among those who are following their dreams and goals. If on the other hand, you are unhappy, frustrated, bored or unfulfilled, and wish you could change things in your life, this article will assist you.
The first step is to identify what is holding you back from making the changes you wish to make – below are the three most common ways that you may be holding yourself back:
- Better the devil you know
You have probably heard the expression “better the devil you know”. This is what keeps people stuck in their comfort zone – they are familiar with their job, their partner, their friends, their hobbies, their environment, etc. The thought of making a change may have you thinking what if you get into a worse situation, what if you don’t like your new career, partner, friends, environment, etc. The fear of the unknown may have you dwell on the negative possibilities instead of thinking about the positive opportunities.
Remember that whether you think about best case or worst case scenarios, either way you will create a self-fulfilling prophesy through your thoughts and behaviour (and this has been proven through scientific research). Even if you do not enjoy your work, you are good at what you do and are paid well to do it, you may find it easier to stay in the rut. Likewise, in your relationship and other areas in your life. Be careful though – the longer you put off following your desired changes, the more unfulfilled and resentful you will become, which will affect your confidence and success in life.
- Fear of making the wrong decision
Many people second guess themselves and question their decisions. This can often lead to confusion, change of mind and being scattered with your thinking and action. Everyone knows what they really want deep down inside. Only you know what is right for you – asking other people’s opinions simply adds to the confusion. If you were to really listen to your intuition and pay attention to what it is telling you, you already know the decision that is right for you.
The key to making a decision that is right for you is to trust yourself 100%. When you fully trust yourself, there is an absence of fear, second guessing, questioning, confusion and seeking of others’ opinions. The best way to fully trust yourself is to address all your fears and insecurities so that you have the self-belief and confidence to make a decision that is right for you.
- Lack of clarity
Most people don’t know what they do want in life because they have too many self doubts and insecurities getting in the way of that clarity. Every time I work with a client that is seeking clarity about their career/relationship/life, they always find that clarity within once their fears, self doubts and insecurities are addressed.
Once they obtain that clarity, they have the self-belief and confidence to pursue what they really want. With that clarity also comes the focus to develop a plan of action, and the motivation to take action towards their goals. Before they know it, they are attracting new opportunities and living the life they desire.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author (of the Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence), speaker, media commentator, and the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with multi award-winning company, Qt. She holds a PhD, a BEc and is passionate about helping professionals and individuals to improve their confidence, emotional and mental wellbeing and success. For more free resources please visit www.qttransformation.com
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